Cow's Blog

A blog of a cow.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

22/22

Hello, y'all!

I'm slightly tipsy, and for some reason think it's a good idea to update my blog... thinking this might not be a totally good thing, but hey!

I realised today that as an average, for every year of my life, I've pulled one guy... 22 in total (I think, but may have forgotten a few!).

Now, this strikes me as being a lot.

So, I've been wondering what it is about me that makes me feel that I need to pull; that makes me see every guy as a challenge...

I can't really say what it is about me, as I suppose it's really who I am... Although the 'slapper' character seems to follow me around, I think I inflict it upon myself more than anyone else does. I rather like her - she's sexy and outgoing, and can have any man she wants if she tries hard enough. And although she can get many men to want to fuck her, she does much less well at persuading them to fall in love with her. After all, she's shallow, arrogant and is highly likely to cheat.
But sometimes a guy can see through the mask, and can learn to love what they find, as Michael did. But sometimes they're just suprised to find that their girlfriend is actually quiet, shy, usually unhappy, and very much dislikes her body, her looks and the way she acts around men. She only seeks their attention to ease her insecurities...
Whenever she's with a guy, she's always astounded to find that he doesn't find her as repulsive as she feels she is.

Perhaps I love my alter-ego, perhaps I hate her... But the truth is simple: without her I am an empty shell... I am nothing.

I didn't intend to write this.

I'm not sure what my point is... Perhaps I'm just trying to explain my behaviour to myself... Perhaps it's just a plea for Adam to stop calling me a 'sack of jelly'!

Who knows!

Night night. x

PS Too much wine and not enough sex make Cow a crazy moo.