Cow's Blog

A blog of a cow.

Thursday, November 25, 2004

Smiling Cow

Hey y'all,

I have good news! I got my first bit of coursework back today and got an 'A', so I'm officially not a total dingbat. Other Uni news is that I'm playing Cinderella in our groupwork panto, so if I start talking in verse in the next few weeks and professing my love for some dudess called Char Ming, that is why.

Can't be arsed to write much else, other than to rave about a book I recently studied called The Magic Toyshop by Angela Carter... If you want to read something (having first read all of Jane Austen's work) then read this. It's one of the greatest things I've ever read, even including stuff by me.

Ta ta for now. x

Monday, November 22, 2004

Been a while...

Sorry! Been neglecting you.

Life's been totally weird recently (when isn't it?). It's been a strange mixture of being insanely busy, utterly exhausted, and hugely happy, interspersed with moments of thorough dejection and depression. However, I also seem to have realised for the first time in my life that I don't really care if I'm happy or not. I hardly feel it makes a difference either way - tears of joy and tears of sadness are much the same thing. I remember soon after splitting up with M last year standing on a clifftop in Pembrokeshire looking out over the sea, crying my eyes out for no reason. It confused me at the time, but now I've realised that it doesn't matter why it is I'm crying, just as it doesn't really matter if I am crying or not.

You see, I have this strange belief that it'll all be ok in the end. That I'll look back on moments like these and think I was an utter idiot to let myself be worried by how my life might or might not work out. My life is going to have one of those circular plot lines you see in crap films - where you get to the end and the heroes are back where they were at the beginning, just older and wiser and more appreciative of what they have. Forget happiness, forget sadness, forget dreams of success, forget dreams of romance... I need to learn to live with the life that I have.

Cows. xxx